To the Top of the Mountain

I love hiking.  Meandering through lush vegetation, the sun peaking through the trees and brushing up against the understory.  Glistening leaves wave hi as I walk by. A cool air sweeps around my body, and at the perfect moment my soul takes a peaceful sigh in the presence of nature. Yeah! What I wouldn’t give to be back packing through the hills of the NC Appalachians right now.

I sit here in my mid-life (I guess “they” call it that) month thinking about all the paths I have ambled, paraded, shuffled, and tripped down in my first forty years. Holy smoley! Life sure has shown me thickets and curvaceous roads; has given me intersections where I have been seemingly at a stand still for days months. This last year has been a complete and utter test of faith and of myself. By sheer determination, on top of a mountain actually, I took a leap of faith rationalizing if my life should change drastically from that which it has been for the majority of my years.  (insert big sigh)  Why was I up on that mountain?  I don’t know if that question is as important as how I got there.  I didn’t get there alone, but I was the one that walked my butt up to the summit – to the place where it all culminated.  Now WTF am I going to do?

I started this post 21 days ago.  The words I couldn’t express locked away in my head and heart.  I’m hurting, still.  Not in the way people in my situation normally hurt (I have heard).  I’ve skipped steps in this process, or more so, perhaps, I’m doing it out of order.  No doubt this will take time to overcome and work through.  Work through…hmmm, work through.  My inner dialogue has been on overdrive since – well I can’t pin point it, but for a long time.  I didn’t listen to my intuition. Geesh, how many times!?!  I freakin have quotes all over the place about it – intuition that is.

…and that is precisely what I have done my whole life.  I justified and tried to explain away everything, and mainly the person I did that to was myself.  And not because someone told me to, but because that is who I was – WAS.  I spent my past life worrying and wondering what everyone else thought…and when I say everyone, I mean those who are closest to me…doing what they wanted me to do.  You know what I realized on top of that mountain?  They did not “make” me do anything.  Just like I walked myself up to the top on that mountain, I made choices based on “my” thoughts about what I perceived others wanted of me.  Have you heard this?

“Sometimes we are our own worst enemies.”

Note to self – Here is the good news:

You still have the ability to make good choices, wise choices, forward-moving, life changing choices.  You have the ability to be YOU and not you for someone else but for you, only.

My perspective has to change.  My self talk has to deviate from what my inner Missababe would normally say.  I climbed the mountain that day and have been climbing an escarpment for far longer than I realized.  So, on this eve, of the eve, of the eve of my 40th (29th hehe) birthday I vow to right myself and keep moving on. 🙂 Like Vince Lombardi said:

With determination and will, summit after summit will be attained – because I am not just going to fall there….It’s not possible.  I’m going to continue to hike like my life depends on it!

And a few memes never hurt: follow me on 1carolinacharm (Twitter) & kbcmomma (IG)

Monday Funny: Kids!

My posts have been kind of heavy lately and I thought we could all use a laugh.  See, I can laugh now but I certainly was not laughing then…because I have been in most of these situations.  Happy Monday!

***none of these are my kids but were pulled off the net (just btdt)

As a wise therapist once told me, some kids just can’t be left alone…for a minute.

We ARE Those People!

Lights go down.  “We’re just resting” says Kevin.  “Yeah, resting” comes from my withering body.  It was 8:32 when I last looked at the clock.  Kevin had just put his arm around me as we cuddled closely in the bed. Next thing I know it is 10 something and I feel a tap on my shoulder.  I’m thinking at that moment…

Woken from a peaceful slumber, which I have no idea I went into, Kendra is asking me if she can sleep on the couch.  REALLY?  You woke me up for that.  Mumbling something that I still don’t know exactly what was said, she left.  Back to sleep.  THUMP!  I lay there for a minute or two listening to screaming from upstairs.  The thump was the all too often sound of a boys feet hitting the floor above our bed.  What were we thinking when we set up these rooms?  Already decided, our next house will be a ranch with a GIANT split floor plan. Great.  Kevin got up to deal with that and I fall back to sleep, kind of.  This screaming, pretty much happens about every night, is louder than usual and very annoying as I was in dreamland right before.  UGH!  How could I have been asleep for 2 hours?  I still have my clothes on and my feet were getting quite warm in my cozy socks.

We are those people, I think, as I really get ready for bed, which consist of me pulling off my socks.  Those people.  You know who I am talking about.  Those people who are in bed by 8:00…ok, maybe not right at 8, but pretty close.  When did we get to be THOSE people?  This thought has lingered in my brain for some years.  When we were in our mid twenties our neighbors had small children.  Mind you, our neighbors at that time were about our age.  At night as I would be settling down for my TV shows or getting ready to go out with friends, or even on a job (Tupperware it was!), I would see all the lights off in their house…all except their bedroom. ” Gosh, how could they be going to bed already?  It’s like 8:00.” I would think with some concern.  What kind of life is that?  I was Judge Judy not believing these folks could really be going to bed at 8:00. LOL  Boy did that one come back to kick me in the butt!

Well what I didn’t realize, because we did not have kids then, is that those little souls can suck the ever living life out of one large body.  How can little people like that have so much energy and take so much from ours?!   OH MY GEEES!  I ask for forgiveness for judging my neighbors so poorly.  SLEEP!  SLEEP when those life suckers are soundly tucked away because they will again rise from their slumber, oh too soon!, and begin filling up…again, and again, and again.  And I assure you I will be asleep as soon as they are tucked in the next night.

 

 

All because of Ocracoke

It can only be LOVE that brought us to this point. Well, it could be stupidity, want, stupidity. Trying to rack my brain for another word but am unable to come up with anything better. Short story – We had a nice minivan (yes, a great family vehicle) that was paid off and now have a big, honkin’ machine of a truck in the place where Susie once sat. Susie, yes I named her Susie.

Why did we give Susie away – and by all accounts and a very long sales agreement I can agree we gave her away!? I’ll tell you. Tactics, convincing, little nudges, no brass balls. All those things led to getting in Susie last Saturday and venturing down to dealership row and releasing her into the hands of Mr. Toyota. Mind you Susie was a Honda through and through. So here is how it goes every time we get a new vehicle. And if you know us, you know we just can’t live without new vehicles, right? I don’t mean new more so than I mean without a car payment. (insert sigh)

So, Kevin had this awesome idea that we should get a new SUV because he would like to go 4x4ing on the beach in Ocracoke this summer. Poor thing; Last summer we had one rented and that stupid hurricane came. We had to evacuate early leaving only the pondering of what would have been the mans greatest day. I mean geesh, Caleb got to pull some poor mans bumper off when he helped get them unstuck on the beach. What fun that would be right!? (giggling) At that moment, reason stepped in and I said to my lovable hubby, “Why don’t we just rent a 4×4 again. It would be a lot cheaper.” He kindly agreed though kept looking for a day or two. He also researched a place we could rent one for the whole week (still costing a paycheck though. WOW!). A few days go by and I think it is all done…dun, dun, dun…until MY brain starts going and I see an ad in the local paper. It’s like getting the garden growing. All you have to do it plant a seed, water it a little and BOOM – fruits of your labor. Well, that fruit is now parked in his…her…hmmm…new spot where Susie once rested. I’m a sucker for vehicles though you would never know. I am as thrifty as they come (well, I try to be). I can’t resist a good car buying nudge…”let’s just go look” lures me in EVERY time. You’d think by now I would have learned to say, “NOPE!”

I can’t say enough about the balls I really do need to grow when it comes to purchasing vehicles for us. Gosh, I don’t even really know what it feels like to have that extra money so maybe it isn’t so bad that we brought Lena…Hugo…Rory (google “good car names” lol) home. We aren’t paying much more than we were for the minivan and we have a whole lot more car. Buyers remorse is slowly fading. It’s been 5 days. Can you tell? 🙂

NOTE: I want to add something that was quite amusing to me though I was very stressed during this whole transaction. As soon as the kids saw the vehicle they jumped inside, held up their hands and started praying. I kid you not. It came to fruition. Not sure we are teaching them to right way to pray though (We took no part in the material prayer!).

Angels and Their “Spare” Time

We had a horrible storm last night while we were at church. Had a meeting and Kendra and Carson went with me. On the drive home the storm was still pretty bad. I was getting scared because the lightening was streaking all around us and the thunder was quite loud. Kendra remembered a conversation we had had some time ago and asked: “Mom, why do the angels bowl?” Me: “What do you mean?” Kendra: “Well, you said that the angels are bowling when you hear thunder.” Me: “Yeah. Well, they can’t work all the time. They have to have fun too.” Kendra: “Well, can’t they just play cards or something?” Me: “Yes. Well, I guess they could (laughing).” After a couple minutes went by and we didn’t hear anything else she said, “I guess they are taking a break.” I think I laughed all the way home! This child is so smart it’s scary sometimes.

Kendra-isms and other cute stuff

1) Do a wheely pop with the car mommy.

The other day she came up to me and told me she was an ophan. She had been with a “new” friend who told her that! I told her she wasn’t an orphan and explained the difference between an ophan and being adopted.

…will continue

An incident in the neighborhood?

Not really, but that is what the deputy said as he stood in my doorway yesterday.  Surprise to me when the doorbell rang and it was the sherriff dept.  I thought maybe they were coming around to collect money for something.  Nope.  Apparently some child from OUR house called 911…and from a cell phone!  Parents take warning.

As I’m listening to him tell me about this incident (in which I thought a child had been abducted or something), I’m starting to realize that he was saying Kendra (Brady was asleep) had called 911.  She came meandering down the stairs like she knew something was up.  I asked her had she been playing with the phone and she said yes.  I then asked her what phone.  See, Kevin was home working upstairs so I figured it was not a house phone.  She kept saying her phone and the only thing that entered my mind was the cell phone my mother had given her a couple of years ago.  Yes, that long.  I asked her to go get it and sure enough, it was the cell phone. 

The cop and I stood there wondering how the phone worked because I knew and told him the service had been cancelled a long time ago.  He just shrugged his shoulders.  He called back to dispatch to see if she could call into the number, but of course she said no because it was a disconnected line.  DUHHHH.  Still didn’t explain to us idiots how you could call 911.  I just assume they will always work to call out as long as you have a method to pay for it and that 911 will always work.  I thought it was interesting that they picked up the signal from here though.  They knew to come to our house from a cell phone.  WOW!  Technology.  As he was leaving he mentioned this might be a good time to talk to her about the importance of 911 and when to call.  I laughed to myself!  She obviously knows how!!  hahaha  yeah, yeah but about only in emergencies…got it covered. wink.  Then he mentioned something about maybe taking the battery out of the cell phone!  lol

To wrap it up, she asked me for two hours after if I was mad and hid behind a chair from her dad!  You’d think we lock her in a closet or something…we DON’T!  We both told her it was “kind” of funny and talked to her about when to call 911. 

…and then we ate shrimp!  Another perfect ending to a perfect day! lol

Short Stories…about Brady!

I was laying down, briefly, on the couch and heard him pushing his music table across the floor.  He used to push it back in forth in his room.  Imagine hearing this for the first time in our bedroom, right under his.  Loud to say the least!  But, he keeps busy. 

Anyway, I heard him pushing it out toward the hallway.  He gets it to his door and I hear him grunting, trying to get it over the threshhold.  He’s a pretty clever boy so what came next did not surprise me.  Yep, he picked the whole thing up and sat it in the hall.  He continued to push it until he reached the edge of the rug…and then picked it up again to put it on the rug.  I just laughed.  He is so smart and soooo strong. This is not a tiny table.  I’m going to try to take a picture next time he is doing this.  Oh, he was taking it into his sisters room where they play most of the time.  He did manage to get it to her door and then I guess lost interest. HA

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Today Brady, like usual, picked up a handful of food (pretzels) and threw them on dining room floor.  Gave him something to do.  I trained him a while ago to throw things away when he is told. So, I asked him to pick them up and throw them away.  Of course I have to say this 10 times softly and slowly for him to start.  So, he starts picking them up one by one and taking them into the kitchen to throw them in the trashcan.  Then I noticed when he had about 10 left that he was eating them as well.  So, I thought he was just going to eat the rest.  He would disappear for a second or two and then come back and pick up another and take a bite.  I realized at that point that he was still throwing them in the trash but he was taking a bite of each one before he threw them away!  Too funny. 

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Things that still amaze me about him:

1-He can push any piece of furniture (just about) that we have in this house.
2-He knows how to get anything he wants (and I mean HE gets it).
3-He would rather play with the kitchen cabinet doors and what is inside rather than his toys.
4-He listens better than my 5th graders used to.
5-He knows everything we say to him even though he doesn’t want to talk yet.
6-He loves his sister a lot

Husbands say the darndest things

So, yesterday I came downstairs and I am notorious for leaving my bras laying around the house.  Yes, you read that right.  I’m guilty.  Don’t ask me why.  They fall where I take them off because I hate wearing them.  I think they rank right up there with panty hose.  I digress.  Anyway, to my not so surprise Kendra was putting my bra on.  It has been a while since she did that.  I was laughing though because she had it on over her shirt but was trying to get the cups under her shirt, where they should go!  I just kind of walked by and laughed and figured she would figure it out.  Then I heard Kevins voice.  He was trying to tell her how to put them on or to take them off…I can’t remember now.  The one thing I do remember is something I will never forget however.  He told Kendra that bras are for your when you get older for your big boobies!  It was something to that effect.  In that moment I just got a picture in my head of that lady on the front of the greeting card with her boobs down to her knees.  Men.

Model in the making!

For Every Mom

For those who haven’t seen this and those who have (because it only gets more funny)…