I have NO Idea What I am Doing!

tolien-image

I was reminded of this quote the other day…and yeah, yeah…I haven’t been on here since Feb!  Big flippin deal.  I have a life, kids, homeschool, responsibilities people and I have spent months trying to kill these stupid fruit flies – OMG do they ever go away?!

Back to the quote; I was reminded of the quote the other day and took, oh, a second or two to ponder it.  It’s pretty short after all. How much meaning can one get out of something that brief? <Insert sarcastic chuckle> Well, it actually has a very deep meaning and I feel like I have been wandering for years…SOOOOOO, am I Iost?  Nah, more like Broken if you will. And not only am I wandering, I’m wondering…

  • Wondering what tomorrow with bring
  • Wondering what song to sing
  • Wondering how to live my life
  • Wondering how to be “that” good wife
  • Wondering how to teach my kids
  • Wondering how to keep up the jig

How does one do it all?  There really is only one answer and I have been on my knees more than not the last few months it seems like. I’m still wondering, I mean wandering, though.  You know God had this thing about people being in the dessert desert and wandering for years?  Lord help me (simple prayer).  Then, AH HA!  My ah, ha moment – though I don’t feel much better, yet – brought clarity that I am wandering…on His path.  I am learning, crying (sobbing actually), laughing, enjoying, questioning, pondering, being frustrated (a lot!), mad, sad, alone, sick, and whatever other adjectives you can throw in there about life while I wander.  Some days I feel like I am in pieces, being ripped apart by life’s circumstances and I forget Him.  I try to fix it all, try to wade through the mud only to sink in the quick sand on the other end. UGH!  His path.  It’s hard.  Funny, I do not remember the bible saying life WILL be easy.  It may actually say it is hard (note to self: look that up).  I don’t know.  The only thing I do know is that I am NOT alone and neither are you. I may have NO idea what I doing, but He does (thank you Jesus!)

As a side note: I want to be like Miss Clara (War Room) and dance around singing his praises.  How can I help you?

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